雅思小作文开头怎么改写「雅思口语part2开头怎么写」

雅思小作文开头怎么改写「雅思口语part2开头怎么写」，为了帮助考生们更好地备考雅思写作，今天本站就来为大家分析这个问题。

雅思小作文开头怎么改写「雅思口语part2开头怎么写」

题目：

The cheap air flight gives people more choices of traveling,while the problems caused by this transportation should also be considered.

Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Along with the advances of society,an accumulating number of controversies have been bought to our attention,one of which is the cheap air flight.(开头段太套了，最多不会超过5.5分).Quite a few people view that the inexpensive flight enhances the choices(改为efficiency and convenience更具体)of traveling.Nevertheless towards the same issue,many others point out that we are supposed to take the problems caused by this way(改称its problems更简洁)into consideration.(Both sides of the arguments have very strong feelings and reasons.)这句话可以不写，太呆板了，建议你看几篇考官范文的开头段，找找感觉。

改版后开头段：

The advances of society give rise to an accumulating number of controversies,one of which the cheap air flight.Conflicting with the problems it has caused,quite a few people view that the inexpensive flight enhance efficiency and convenience of traveling.

There are several reasons which(啰嗦删掉)suggest that the cheap air flight is of great value for visitors traveling.To start with,it could exert conductive impact on economic thrift(加of an individual具体一些).That is to say,the prices of airplane tickets could be affordable for an increasing number of tourists who may have a spot of budget.(In this respect,the public must be in great favor of such a vehicle.)In addition,it enables passengers to save much time on transport.When they are confronted with the emergent situations,the cheap flight will be given to the top priority,because of the high efficiency.

分析：

用词还可以，写作内容基本清晰，但是明显感觉到刻意使用一些连接手段，显得有点刻板。

简单修改一下：

Advocates of this believe that both the common price and the traveling efficiency should not be ignored.Firstly,the price of an airplane ticket could be affordable for an increasing number of tourists who may have a spot of budget.In this respect,the public must be in great favor of such a vehicle.In addition,a flight enables passengers to save much time on transport.Especially when they are confronted with the emergent situations,the cheap flight will be given to the top priority,because of the high efficiency with low cost.

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